The Friendship Trap.

A lot of agents want to be the player’s best friend. They enjoy the access, the lifestyle, the proximity to the star.

And it costs them the relationship.

Too many agents are deferential to the player, and sometimes even his entourage. Worried about disrupting the equilibrium. But players discern that eventually. They don’t want to feel like they can bully their agent. In fact, they want to feel like their agent has the capacity to bully the club. Get the best deal. Have the presence to fight their corner.

So the agent needs to make themselves likeable, sure, but more importantly, respected by the player.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s overlap between friend and advisor. You can have a strong relationship. You can care deeply about the person. But they are fundamentally different roles.

A friend prioritises harmony, shared experiences, having a good time. Friends often avoid the hard conversations.

An agent has a different responsibility. Your job is to help the player have the strongest possible career. That often means uncomfortable conversations. Tough love, a measure of candour.

It’s similar to parenting in some ways. You don’t raise children by trying to be their best mate all the time. You can be close. You can be warm. But you still need to hold them accountable.

Then there’s the wider environment. Parents. Partners. Siblings. Friends who’ve been around since school. People with a lot of advice and not necessarily a lot of experience.

That advice can destabilise a player’s mindset and confidence, even when it comes from a place of love. And a player with an unsettled family situation will almost always see it affect their performance on the field. Which affects selection. Which trickles down to contracts.

An agent has to recognise and manage those influences. Knowing when to listen, when to educate, when to push back. Particularly when, as is often the case, the whole family relies on that one person for their livelihoods.

The players who stay loyal for years aren’t the ones whose agents took them to every party. They’re the ones whose agents told them the truth when it was hard to hear. Kept them aligned with their goals and potential, and extracted the deals that were equal to or above their value.